idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
