I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
