'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
