those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
