And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
People in love make me want to vomit
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
