Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
