fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You work out of a Hotel?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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