I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
