dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
