well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
