who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
