She is in my trunk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
