the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
