Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
