You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
