two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
