he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
