i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
