OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
