All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
