You really coming over, don't trick.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found your dick twin last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
