I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
