it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
