We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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