Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
