I bet he comes in French.
My hand turned me down
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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