I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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