Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
