u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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