capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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