You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
