Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
