Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
