My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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