dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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