xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
