So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
