is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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