U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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