i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
