The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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