Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
