Will you blow on my dice?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
