why didn't you poke me back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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