Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
