I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
