You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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