I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
