Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
