Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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