i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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